Friday, January 3, 2014

As Ready As I Can Be

An interesting thing happened today. I was feeling like I'd kind of wasted some of my time off. I had a few things I wanted to deal with at home and a few things got done. I felt like I should be doing something more, though I couldn't figure out exactly what. And I had absolutely no motivation to look for it.
It's not really a bad thing. I spent a large portion of my holidays taking care of important things. Like playing. Or reading. Or just listening to the kids. I spent a bit of my time on my marriage, some quality time with the Trucker. All good things of course.
I read a novel. The last installment in a series I loved. I read more of a text that I'd started in my Lit class. Reading was actually on my goal list. I love it and I miss reading for pleasure when classes are running. I may be the one who takes "reading week" a little too seriously and spends all their time with their nose in a book.
I've been writing more too. See, these kinds of things would never appear on a to do list and I think that's why I was so upset this morning. (Well, not that upset except when my coffee cup was empty.)
I headed in to Art's room this afternoon. He started cleaning yesterday and needed some help with organization of the things that he wanted to keep in there. (Like the Trucker's new tool box that was a Christmas gift and is now slotted for their remote control cars, tools and parts, and will never make it to the garage where it was intended to go.) It didn't take very long, because Art actually keeps himself pretty well organized. He sure doesn't get that from me.
At five o'clock, I was trying to decide what I was cooking for dinner. The Trucker was on his way home. I was standing in the kitchen when it hit me.
I am actually ready.
I can't honestly tell you the last time the house has been in this kind of order. And I felt like I wasn't getting anything done at all. So How Did That Happen?  My room has been picked over and reorganized, even went through my clothing and added to the donate bags. ALL THREE KIDS have clean rooms. I know where all the lunch bags are, and backpacks. I have the school library books ready, not lost. I am caught up to my laundry, it is even put away. I have my text books ready and my binders prepared. I will not be freaking out at 11 pm on Sunday night because I can't find anything.
And I didn't even see it happen.
It seems to me that:
When you really make an effort to be present
To be in the moment
To pay attention
To do the little things
To use the help you are given
To find the silver linings
To smile and laugh more
Things start to just happen.
You are doing it,
No different than you did it before
But you are not seeing it the same way.
It doesn't actually seem like work.
I enjoyed my holiday. I had fun. I relaxed. I spent time with family. I worked in small doses. When I stopped and looked at the things that DID get done, I barely remember doing some of it. I guess I have caught up enough to the flow of crap in the house, and taught the kids a bit better about not keeping things that break or giving away things we no longer use.
Really, the only thing I remember 'working' on was Angel's room. She was long overdue for an overhaul. I'm not really sure when all the rest of it happened. Macboy did a great job of his room on his own and didn't need any help. Mom folded and put away one basket of my clean laundry for the kids.
I will even admit that I sent a text message to my family to say:
"Holy crap, all the kids rooms are clean, and mine, and the laundry is caught up....
This has probably never happened before and may never happen again,
so maybe we should take a picture!"
I can start classes this term on even ground. I am not starting out behind. I feel great. Just when you think that doing a little job won't matter, it surprises you by adding up. When you think that you don't have time to build a puzzle or listen to a nine year tell a highly exaggerated story, do it anyway. It will pick your spirits up in a way that nothing else can, and then things just start to happen. And you don't feel the 'work' of it, you just feel good.