Thursday, June 9, 2011

You Don't Have To Understand

Just the other day, I was having a conversation about my blogging.  It started off with "Well, how much time do you actually spend on that blog crap, anyway?"  This is intended to include twitter, facebook, stats, writing, really everything that I do in relation to my blogs.  I was hurt. Of course I was hurt. There is nothing like having ANY part of your life referred to as crap.  So, I struck back with every single stupid thing that I think that person does. Every little thing that I think is a waste of time. And added to my defense that my kids are involved and LOVE THIS. They suggest things to write about. Macboy even sneaks into the browser on his DSi and reads some of my posts.

It seems to some that this part of my life is interfering with my work time and other responsibilities. And yes, I will admit that it does sometimes mean that I'm juggling my hours a bit differently. But I am still working.  And I'm even finding benefits from the blogging to help me understand my work. I understand some of the things we do a bit better since I've starting working on the other side of the webworld.

Blogging is saving me. It is boosting my confidence, providing an outlet for some of the things in my brain that I just can't always say out loud.  It is giving me something to look forward to.  It is taking me back to simpler times. I am meeting new people, learning tons of new things everyday.  I went from feeling as though NO ONE cared to seeing that some people do like to hear what I say. I am anything but alone in my life. And I have been able to share some funny moments that people could miss easily.  The humour and happiness around us is often overlooked and now I'm paying attention. I'm seeing things in a different way and taking time to enjoy the small stuff. I started off with a small handful of 'followers' and some of them were forced into it. Now I have more, and it grows every day.  See those buttons up on the top? They WORK.

Another advantage of this blogging 'hobby' is that I am simply more AWARE. I am making changes to my life daily because I am looking at the world differently.  Also because I read some of the writing of my peers and feel inspired to make changes.

"Well What Do You Need Vacation For?"
Really?  Sure, I do feel guilty to some degree because I'm taking time off while the kids are in school.  But seriously?  I DESERVE A BREAK.  Work at home is a whole different world, especially if you don't have daycare involved. And it is not all about my job, it's just that work is the only thing in my life I can ACTUALLY take a vacation from!!!  I'm not freaking out because I can't do my job.  And I'm not quitting my job either. I'm taking a week off. That's it. 

I can't stop potty training, or helping with homework, or hugging a crying kid at 2 am who had a nightmare.
I can't stop laundry or dishes or sweeping or vacuuming or... you get it....
I can't stop being a mom of a boy with Tourette's. Sure it's not a severe case, but we have our speedbumps
I can't stop being a wife or a mom or a friend or a daughter or a sister.

I don't want to.

I don't need to stop anything.

I just need a slower week.

Vacation time?  Hell YES, I need vacation time. And NO it is not because I work too many hours in a day, it is NOT because I spent time writing here instead of looking after other things. And it is absolutely not because I "can't handle my expectations as a mother."

My longest 'vacation' was my honeymoon. We took a week. 4 days with the boys in tow, and 3 days just for adults (Angel Baby was still 2 years away).  We went camping. It was still like everyday life, just not at home. I had to clean up, cook, take care of kids... you know.

Next was the August long weekend, when hubs and I got to go camping 2 years in a row with no kids. This hasn't happened since 2008.

I'm still not going anywhere, I'm just lightening the load. For one freaking week.  Give me a break.  I'm taking time off, so that maybe I can use my extra 20 hours that week to put some order back into my home. Find my desk in my office that I JUST GOT and have already lost to a pile of everyone else's crap.  And maybe, just maybe play with my kids a bit more?

So, really, any judgemental 'friend' can take their opinions and ....... fill in your own blanks here.

I blog because I want to. Because I can.  It is the first thing to suffer when life gets crazy. I drop it like it never existed.  It's not my first priority, but it is on the list.

You don't have to read it, you don't have to understand it, you don't have to care.
And I don't have to stop.
 

10 comments:

  1. Damn straight!

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  2. Well said. It's funny how bloggers who have never met in person understand each other and the joy they get from blogging. It seems my virtual friends understand this part of my life, this hobby I love, much more than my real life friends.

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  3. Hey, you know, you really shouldn't sugarcoat things so much. You need to tell it like it is.

    *runs and ducks*

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  4. Isn't it funny how we can go along happily blogging about 'normal' stuff, and then we just HAVE TO BLOG A RANT? I did that the other day and felt much better. I bet you feel better now too. You go girl!

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  5. Bravo! I feel the same way. My blog has also provided me with an outlet to express my feelings and I look forward to it as well.

    Thanks for posting this.

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  6. Well said! My blog is my outlet but it's also my window into so many wonderful friendships. Without this connection, I'd be lost!!

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  7. The title of your post says it all! Great post!! I've had to have this discussion with a few people, and you're right, it hurts.. Especially when it's someone close to you that should be excited about what we're doing!! New follower!!

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  8. Wow! The most comments I've had yet. Thanks! It felt like my favorite teddy bear was being ripped out of my hands... You know? I like writing, and no one should have the right to tell me it's crap. From someone who doesn't even READ it, it really hurt.
    Thank you for your support and encouragement everyone!!
    Wendy

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  9. I loved every bit of this. And I need a vacation so bad. Oh God, I would give anything to just have a day.......

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  10. "Blog a rant"..........

    Hmmmm........ I don't think that I've ever done that before, have I?

    Oh, wait a second. Yes, I have.

    LMAO

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