I am so excited for September. This is a very unusual feeling since I normally hate the enforced structure on everyone and the morning rush. I am not a fan of mornings. I get to start my second year at university and I'm thrilled. With a short schedule last year that had to fit in the morning kindergarten program hours, I almost feel like I haven't really even started and that this fall is the beginning of the real deal.
I've had an eventful summer. It was incredible. Excellent family vacation and lots of stay-in-your-PJs-all-day days. I also had an eye opening experience through babysitting a boy with special needs. I do have my own version of special needs here, but this was so different. My children have invisible issues, like Tourette's and social anxiety. But this summer I had the experience of being a caregiver for a child with very visible difficulties. Frankly, people are jerks. I hope to share more of that story but it needs to wait for a different time, as I try to decide exactly how to explain what I saw and felt taking this little amazing miracle boy to the park.
Yesterday was my last day with him. In many ways I feel that my summer is just starting. I only had him for 15 days but it really did change my summer. I now have an abundance of free time until September starts. Of course, that's not very far away now.
I've got all our school supplies ready. For all four of us. I need to find myself a new school bag but everyone else is covered. I have kept up to regular life for the majority of the summer months too, so I don't have a lot of scrambling and cleaning to do before the school workload hits. I'm prepared and very ready mentally for school to start.
My only regret of the summer is the lapse in my writing. I had a short burst where I poured out thousands of words in two works in progress and I felt amazing. Then the physical exhaustion of babysitting hit me and I stopped a lot of things. I read non stop, because it was the least physical thing I could do to keep myself surrounded by words. By time I return to school I will have finished about 25 books running from Shakespeare plays to YA fiction. Now, I'm fueled up and ready to write for days, but of course those days are now numbered. Perhaps my dream of "I published my first novel while I was in University," just won't work for me.
It takes a shift in perspective to pull me through these thoughts. I do hope to be published eventually, but the plain reality is that if I don't write, I will go slowly crazy. Crazier, at least. These stories scream from the back of my mind at all the wrong times and I get frustrated when I can't let them out. The characters are like pieces of me that are trapped and I can't find peace of my own anywhere until I release their words. So, rather than dreaming of future publication, I am just enjoying the art of the writing itself. I write for me. I hope that it finds other readers someday, but the beginnings are just for me. I must get it out before I can edit or change anything for anyone else. And the act of writing, preferably with a simple pen and paper, is so therapeutic for me that I have got to start making time for it every day.
My two works in progress are very different and I do not struggle with keeping storylines straight or characters in the right places. One is very much YA and the other is definitely women's fiction. My mood dictates the story that gets the attention, and I enjoy having the chance to switch gears when one story starts to stall or suffer. It keeps my creativity flowing. At this point both stories are pretty much crap, but they are started and that is more important to me anyway. I suppose that is how the writing process works and even after a million edits I will still feel that they are crap.
With my new schedule for school, I actually have a little window in the day where I may be able to place a writing routine. Of course that depends on my homework load. I remain optimistic and will make something work.
I've been very torn about whether or not to continue this blog, I've mentioned that before. For now, I will just keep it as it is, no promises of posts or schedule for writing. I will write when I can, if I have something worth sharing or something to work out in my own mind again. My other writing does take priority, if I have to make a choice. I didn't create this for money or for followers. I am already amazed by the number of you that are here and come back regularly. Your best bet for slightly more regular updates is to join me on facebook anyway.
I hope that everyone is ready for fall and that the return to school is smooth for all of us. Are you looking forward to September too?