Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Did You Miss Me?

Hey... Check it out. I have a blog!


Where have I been? Lost, I guess.  I've been chasing dreams and chasing kids.  I've been doing a lot of really miscellaneous things. I guess I just sort of lost sight of my own dreams for awhile. See, I was writing a lot for a while, running two blogs and working and chasing kids. Finding occasional snippets of time to write something bigger and reading a LOT. Then someone said something to me that stung. I think it was along the lines of "oh, that blog thing."

To me, it wasn't just a 'blog thing', it was much more. I was meeting new people from all over the place and getting involved in a different community. I was enjoying my time writing and releasing so many thoughts from my mind that were just filling it up and preventing it from working right. It was giving me pride, that so many people would come back and read more. It was giving me that missing sense of accomplishment.  I can complete a lot of things in a day, but I really didn't care about those. I cared about finishing a post, no matter how small. And then watching to see how many people actually read it.

So, this little side comment should not have affected me. It became apparent that those closest to me thought it was just a way to ignore the other parts of my life that were, by their definitions, more important. I floundered for a while, I still tried to post now and then but meet my obligations. Then eventually it slowed to a stop. It's been much too long since I've been here.

I'm not going to say I haven't done anything for myself in this time. I've been writing still, just on paper more often. I was even at a point where after working on the computer for my job, I just didn't want to be on it anymore. If I couldn't easily do something from my phone, I just didn't do it.  I've been getting to the gym, spent a lot of time working for charity causes, playing with my kids. I've read more novels in the last few months than I have read in the last few years. I just didn't come back here.

Oh... dear blogger... as weird as you may act sometimes, I really missed you! 

I lost sight of what I was doing. I eventually lost sight of everything again. I got so wrapped up in just a few small things that I forgot why I started it. Yes, all of you who read what I write are important to me. I want to share something important, useful, enjoyable.

I started off that way. Then I also got caught in a rush of how to do it right... You must post everyday, you must have pictures, you must, must must......

You must write because you have something worth saying. I don't want to write fluffy crap. I don't want to write because I feel obligated to. I want to write because I am inspired. I want to write because I have something worth sharing. I want to write something that I would like to read. If I write everyday, it just doesn't flow that way.

So, I'm coming back. I won't always have pictures. I won't be here everyday. I won't feel like this is something I have to do.  AND more importantly, I will not allow those around me to make me feel like writing, whether here or on paper or even on the back of an envelope if that's all I have, is not important. It's important to me. I never let the blog get in the way of my responsibilities no matter what anyone else may have thought.

This blog has been my lifeline in times of need, my outlet when my heart was breaking and my own piece of property where I could openly and honestly laugh at myself. 

It is not dying. It is not forgotten.

I thank each and everyone of you who have helped me reach my own little milestones so I could eat cake along the way to where I am now (and to those of you who wish to help me hit 100 likes on facebook so I can have more). I thank you for your words of encouragement, your shared stories and your patience.

Another lesson I had to learn the hard way for the ten millionth time... What others say should not affect your choices. Life is not lived if you worry about what others think before you do what you feel right doing.  Not in the playground, not at school, not in real life and not here. This is Wendy's space.

Wendy Can't Cook... well, she can, but she aims to keep expectations low so she doesn't have to cook more than necessary!

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