Another year is drawing to a close. It's amazing how fast this year has gone and how much has changed. I think we don't realize the passing of time in quite the same way until we have children. Not to say that you have to have kids, but it sure drives the point home! Looking at the complete change in clothing, since they've outgrown all the clothes they wore a year ago, is amazing. The subtle changes in their faces are awe-inspiring. My little people are turning into grown ups before my eyes.
Even Angel Baby. She was so painfully shy a year ago. Now, she is a chatty little girl. She still gets overwhelmed from too many visitors, but she is opening up to those that are close to us. She is learning, oh my is she learning, all kinds of things. She can name her letters and numbers. She can almost count to 20 without help. She is writing some of her letters. She has a defined sense of humor that I just adore. She is definitely not a baby anymore, she is my big girl in all ways.
Art has really come into his own. Being on his own at school this year, since Macboy has moved on to junior high, he is truly becoming more independent everyday. He is a sensitive boy, but is learning better ways to cope with his frustrations. He is sporty and attentive and organized and so, so smart. He's also grown a few good inches this year. He amazes me, and I tell him that often.
Macboy.... I can't even begin to tell you the changes he's shocked me with. It is enough that I want to scream at the teachers of the past "Look at him, he's doing exactly what I told you he could. If you would have just listened to me and pushed just that little bit!!!" He has gone from modified school work and lower expectations to exceeding the expectations of all of his teachers. One has even told me that he taught her a few things already this year. His self esteem is skyrocketing, simply because his teachers don't just demand things and not follow through, but they truly believe in him. I am so very proud of him. His Tourrettes is barely visible now, which is a great indication of lower stress within him. I am .... there are just no words for how I really feel. Inspired is one, but it doesn't say it all.
I transitioned from working at home to just being at home. I've had a few little odd jobs and spent more time writing. I am getting my home in order and taking care of myself and my marriage. Two things that definitely lost my focus while I was trying to do too many things at once. I have my english degree in sight and am working towards getting to full time university. September 2013, I will be starting school along with the Angel Baby. For all of those people of my past who have told me I'm crazy, or that I can't do it, I will. I have had three wonderful reasons showing me that I can do anything if I put my mind to it.
Unfortunately, I know I can write but no one else really does. I have buckets of words to share, but I'm not quite at the point of making a living off of it. Many items I wrote for work belong to the company, not me, so I can't really use the materials in a portfolio. I feel I need something behind my name to prove that I CAN.
My goal of my novel by Christmas hasn't worked out well, and Nanowrimo just didn't work for me this year either. But... I am not giving up. Ever. I look forward to the day that I hold a book in my hands that has my name on the cover. It will happen. Even if I only publish one copy, just so I can hold it myself. I will see it happen.
So much has changed this year and has filled me with gratitude. And that is the spirit of the season. Being thankful and giving back. Helping those I can, because I've had help more than once. I am surrounded by love, another part of the spirit of the season. There is peace in my home unlike ever before. I look forward to another spectacular and challenging year of growth and change in my life.
Thank you, for spending another year visiting my little blog. I'm humbled by how much the community has grown without any real efforts on my part. I'm just doing what I feel I need to do for myself.
Do you feel these wonderful things in December? Or do you feel the stress of the Christmas season and expectations? I wish for Peace for all of you.