Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Early Days Of My Kitchen Disasters

This morning, I was thinking about how to teach my oldest child some cooking skills. He's getting old enough to be able to make quite a few things without my help.
This led to a long stretch of looking back at my early days of bad cooking. Here are some of my top picks for teenage 'learning' moments:

1.  Once when I was babysitting, I was making zoodles for the kids as an after school snack.  The can opener left two points attached, on opposite sides of the can.  Of course, I was not paying attention (never has been a strong skill for me) and when I went to dip the lid in so I could pull it off, it snapped hard.
Oodles of Zoodles ALL over the kitchen! And it wasn't even my house!!

2. Mom made a roast one weekend that was horribly tough. We had a lot of leftovers and she decided to try a stew, perhaps after a long slow soak in the roaster it would soften up?  Left me in charge while she went out.  Simple instructions to make sure the meat didn't boil over or boil dry.
Did you know that it smells worse when you boil it dry than it does if you just burn it??? And I think it creates more smoke!

3.How about the layer cake that has an extra pocket of pudding in the middle because you forgot to grease the pan and ripped a big chunk of it out trying to get it out of the pan??  At least now I am smart enough to now how to piece it together if it sticks.
WAITI mean, now I'm smart enough to grease the pans!!!

4.  Turns out the hubby likes to have ground beef just scramble fried with a bit of BBQ sauce and spices.  Can you guess how I figured that out?  Did I think I was making eggs instead of burgers?  Not sure... but at least he liked it! ;)

5.  Did you know that if you don't measure any of your ingredients when baking cookies, they can actually end up tasting strangely like fish?  I have NO idea how that works, but they certainly were not edible!  I may not always follow a recipe perfectly, and I may often measure a bit loosely... but I DID learn to MEASURE!!

6. Sometimes it's not my cooking, but bad eating skills.  I caught my knife on the bone of a pork chop and shot that sucker clear across the kitchen!  During one of my first visits to the inlaws...

7. There is also the time I realized that pork and chicken shake and bake really don't taste any different.  Yep, coated the chicken with the pork seasoning.  Noticed only when I was cleaning up after we all ate it.

Random Thoughts To Ponder
(maybe I shouldn't post this, I'll stop having company come over for dinner!)

Do you want to know how many pots I've thrown out because I burnt something to the bottom and can not get it off?  Actually, I can't answer that...I've lost count.

Who doesn't love a family game of  
Wonder which piece was the one on the floor?

Who invented flat bread?  Someone who forgot the yeast?  Wonder if I'm related?

I know I didn't invent the '5 second rule' or 3 or 10, whatever YOU use.... but I am most certainly grateful for it!
I have already laughed at my cooking enough that none of you can compete....

I have said it before and I'll say it again.  There ARE some things I CAN cook WELL.

Can you guess what things they are?????

Come on over!  ANYTIME!

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