Saturday, July 16, 2011

What Doesn't Matter, Just Doesn't Matter.

I was working on this post this morning and after re-reading what I had, I realized that many of the things I wanted to say are totally entitled to their own separate entries. Apparently, when I started looking at some of these little things, I realized they are a much bigger part of me than I had hoped.

Everyone has those little things in their life. The small difficulties that really don't matter in the grand scheme of things.  We can waste a lot of precious energy holding on to those thoughts. Why?  Why hold on to anything that is not moving you forward in life.  Learning to let go, frees up your mind and your heart to really enjoy the good things in your life.

I am one of those worrying type of people. Always living in the 'what-if' world.  It's not fun. It's exhausting! But my brain just works that way. I don't just have plan B covered, I've got just about every angle covered.  Don't ask my in-laws about how much stuff I have to pack when we go visit for the long weekend!

I think letting go of things is a process we all go through almost daily. We let go of our frustration when someone cuts us off in traffic. We let go when our kids smoosh shiny blue eyeshadow into the carpet. We let go of control as our kids grow.  We let go of bad service, we let go of those hurtful words we sometimes hear. 

Perhaps, Letting Go can become a regular feature. I know that I could use the reminder to stop and think about some of these things.  Writing is very good for me. I'm a black and white kinda girl. Seeing things on paper makes them clear. A computer screen doesn't always count, I can see my words, but I don't always FEEL them the same way.  (this is a big reason why I go through so much paper in my online-remote office-at home job!)

So, in an effort to still produce a relevant post, I have skimmed the fat and have a few smaller examples of things I am letting go of.

Macboy's one sock deal. 
Don't ask me why but since the beginning of summer he will only wear one sock at a time. Yes he does alternate too, he says "Can't have one foot dirty and the other clean."  I'm glad my kids are strange like me. The problem is, he's old enough to get pretty smelly feet. And at least socks help preserve the shoes! 

Angel Baby is no angel
I'm letting go of the daily dose of irony that her middle name is Angel. She is certainly ... something else.  She's a good girl, she is just very busy.  I wouldn't ever call her hyper, she's just very curious. A real self-starter. If she wants to know how something works she just gets in there and figures it out. Yes it means that I replace make up more often and have to clean the blue out of the carpet. It means that I have to scrub marker off the walls often (well, not anymore, since I covered those walls with paper, she hasn't drawn ANYTHING.).  I envy her spirit sometimes. She is determined, confident, curious, brave and unbearably smart.  She is amazing.

Art is messy work.
My little guy is so creative. He loves to make, draw, color, whatever.... His projects create a lot of messes in my house (and other peoples houses, thank you Aunty for allowing some of it to get in your carpets too)   It drives me insane that he leaves markers around where Angel Baby can get them. There are bits of paper, glue sticks, crayons, pencils, and all that goes with it... All over my house. I am letting go of my desire to have everything in it's place. This is not all bad. 
  1. Art reuses everything. He is learning to repurpose things so that he doesn't throw them away.
  2. His skills are constantly improving. Writing, drawing, cutting. The school will thank me.
  3. He at least tries to clean up most of his messes.
  4. I am a crafty momma! I used to hate that Macboy wasn't really into it. Yes, karma is here to bite me in the A**. You get what you wish for.
  5. I have learned from experience the best and most effective ways to clean a LOT of things.

Quitting smoking is a process.
If you smoke when you feel stressed or uncomfortable, but then stress yourself out with guilt because you are still doing it, then you smoke to feel lighter, then guilt, then smoke.... 
I'm working on quitting smoking forever. I will have good days and bad. I will stick to it. I am not letting go of my resolve to completely quit again... I am letting go of the pressure and high standards I've place on myself to do it fast. I'm letting go of the guilt I've added when I fail. And very soon, 

At least this is a start. But I am also letting go of my need to share EVERY thought all at once. I have some great notes now for some great upcoming posts.

What things are you holding on to?  
Is there something in your life you want to just let go of?  

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1 comment:

  1. Letting go has been huge for me over the past couple of years. I have been through so much crap and BS that it's not even funny. I used to stress about every little thing - and I've finally gotten to the point that "it's ok" - I can only do so much, and it's ok.

    Smoking. Yeah. That needs to go away - for you and for me. =/ After vacation. :P