I work very hard to maintain a positive personality. I know that I fail sometimes but I think I do pretty well over all. There are way too many people in this world who never speak a kind word. Those who must always be better or worse than you are. Those who see world in a dark way and are determined to spread it.
I admit that often my mind gets filled with dark clouds. There are mean and selfish thoughts and pages of complaints. The difference is that I do not feel the need to share them all. So I keep it in my head, where it doesn't damage the ones that I love.
Why did you walk to the school? We want a ride home.
Why did you bring the van? It's so hot in here.
There are so many wonderful and loving ways to share yourself with others. Why let them see this side? Who wants to be around a compulsive complainer?
I caught myself this afternoon, saying that Art is just tired with school having just started. First three days ended with at least half an hour of whine and complain, even on Friday when we were going away for the weekend. He could have been excited, but he wasn't. He could have used his time to get his toys and games that he wanted together, but he didn't. And then he had perfect opportunity more than once to complain while we were out camping, because he was bored.
I really want to believe that this is just part of the adjustment of getting back to school. But really? It's been months. It's far enough that I want to just scream when it starts. If you try to change the subject to something happier, he finds a way to make that bad too. I certainly hope that he's not acting like this at school. I'll hear from the teacher for sure!
It usually wears me down fast. I have no tolerance for meaningless complaints. If you have eaten pizza 9004 times, chances are good that you like it. So don't tell me you never did. Just tell me you don't feel like eating it today. There's a good chance I'll make you eat it anyway, but at least you didn't just complain. Next time, I won't serve you pizza and you'll complain that you want some. Even though you don't like it!
This is about exactly where my parenting patience stops. Mean what you say and say what you mean. Or just don't say it. This has been going on for what feels like eternity. My calm mothering side wants to sit down and find out what the real problem is (lack of sleep) find a reasonable solution (like eat more veggies and go to bed earlier) and MOVE ON.
But the side of me that shows up first now, is not that side. It is the side that wants to scream "For the love of all that is good and holy in this earth will you PLEASE. SHUT. UP!!!!"
I don't say it. But I will never say I don't think it. Usually I just bite my tongue and ignore what I can. Eventually he shifts back into real life. (The other day it was a morning complain session. Did you know that one side of the sidewalk is warmer than the other? Yes, sidewalk, not the other side of the street. I was walking on the WARM side of the SIDEWALK and needed to move because he was cold.) I think Macboy went through this. Well, he complained more at school than at home I think. I'm sure Angel Baby, when she's a NOT-Angel Pre-Teen instead will complain like this too. She'll probably figure out how to slam doors and scream with that super high pitch.
Everyone, everywhere should just make a point to say one nice thing every day. Making the effort to say something good even when you don't feel like it, makes you feel better. And when you feel better, it gets easier.
So go say something nice to someone. Tell me about it. I'll share it with him when he's feeling whiny.
Cheer us all up!